Connection is one of the core pillars of my work and I see it as having three components: your clients’ connection to each other, the clients’ connection to you, and the clients’ connection to their guests. Let’s dive into how to build a connection-centered event that will have your guests raving about how thoughtful the event – and you! – were.

Photo by The Coe Collective on location at The Lowlands, Planning and Design by The Bridekick, Paper Goods by Studio Yofi

1. Think about the client’s connection to each other

In my line of work, the client is often a couple so the connection between them is fairly obvious. They met, they dated, they fell in love, they made a big choice to take a grand leap of faith together and get married. Maybe that’s your client too. But maybe your client is a non-profit board of directors or a C-suite. Are these people who are connected outside of their job roles? What is their relationship like? Are they able to be honest with each other about their preferences, their goals for the event, and their priorities for the event outcome?

Let’s say you’re planning an event for a non-profit board of directors who don’t know each other super well and come from a variety of backgrounds and industries. That might seem like a recipe for disconnection but, in fact, you already know that there is a common thread for everyone: they care about this cause. How can you get them talking about their why and why they are drawn to this cause? Perhaps this means having one or two meetings where the goal is strictly to get to know each other more and to discuss this background for everyone. Chances are, as they start discussing this, they’ll realize they have more in common than they thought and that will help to develop and deepen their connection to each other.

Photo by The Coe Collective on location at The Lowlands, Planning and Design by The Bridekick, Paper Goods by Studio Yofi

2. What is the client’s connection to you?

Does anyone else get a little giddy with a new client inquiry? Like, they want to work with me? Little old me?? Remember that excitement when you get onto your discovery call (or as I call them, disco calls, because if it’s not fun, why are we doing it?). Remember that there are literally hundreds of people they could’ve reached out to and maybe they did reach out to multiple people but they chose YOU. Ask them why! What drew them to your work? What is it about how you are running your business that spoke to them? Once you know that, you can utilize that to guide how you set up your project together. For example, if they loved how eco-conscious you are, keep that front and center in your decision meetings: recommend eco-friendly rentals, compostable tablewares, low-emission meals, etc. Maybe they loved that you’re not afraid of bold colors and bolder entertainment! Help them imagine ways to utilize their budget to get a showstopping act on site (aerial gymnast performance perhaps?). The thing that drew them to you is the seed that you can cultivate to strengthen your connection.

Photo by The Coe Collective on location at The Lowlands, Planning and Design by The Bridekick, Paper Goods by Studio Yofi

3. How are the client’s guests connected to the client and each other?

Every event has one (sort of dreaded) element in common: a guest list. Whether it’s a 20 person dinner party or a 200 person conference, there’s always a guest list. How is that guest list created? What is the connection between the guests and the client and the theme or cause for the event? For example, maybe you’re planning a retirement party and the guest list is upwards of 75 people. The guest list might include mentees, school colleagues, family members, close friends, former bosses or employees. When the connection between guests and client is obvious, like for a retirement party, it’s easy to assume that everyone will automatically connect and that the event will flow seamlessly. However, you might want to take this as an opportunity to highlight the things guests have in common that aren’t surface-level. Taking the time to talk with your clients about who they are inviting and why they are inviting them can illuminate ways they can encourage connections between their guests. Then, as you develop things like a seating chart, interactive activities, or who you’ll recommend as a guest speaker, you can help your client highlight and focus on the connection they already have to their guests and the connection they want to encourage their guests to make with each other.

At the end of the day, the best way to keep connection front and center in your event planning is to prioritize connection every step of the way. Are you taking the time to get to know your clients as people? Are you sharing yourself with them? Are you reinforcing the values and connection your clients want to emphasize for their event? Are you considering the connections you want guests to walk away with as you design the event? I find that, when in doubt, take a step back and ask yourself if your work is being true to the connections they want to highlight.

If you’re just starting to use connection as a more integral part of your planning process, start by writing down what kinds of connections you value and want more of in your life. Once you’ve refined that, start talking about it! The more you talk about what you want, the more likely you are to find the people who want that too, whether that’s friends or clients.

Nicole Baron, MA, (she/her) is the owner and creative director of The Bridekick, a wedding planning and officiating company based in St Paul, MN. Her company is grounded in connection, progressive values, and fun. When she’s not working on planning weddings or writing ceremonies, she can be found sewing new clothes, reading with her cat, or playing board games with her partner and friends.