By Rachel Kurth

I’ll say it first, I hate networking. Now, I’m not talking about the type of networking experiences that The Dot is trying to create; I’m talking about the type of formal, organized networking events, where there is a big, cold, sterile room, filled with a table of name tags on one side, a clustered group of name tagged persons huddled in the other, and a crippling tension of looking around and judging who may be the most approachable person to pitch your elevator speech to. 

But what I do love? Coffee dates. A one-on-one focused session to actually get to know who a person is, what inspires them, and what lessons they’ve learned along the way. So, how do you bridge the gap between these two things, networking and coffee? I (and likely the rest of the world) call it, the informational interview. My law school days were filled with tons of informational interviews, as I explored different types of law and different job opportunities. Though not each of the interviews were life-changing, each provided a useful perspective as I planned job applications and dreamt of my future career. And luckily, some have led to continued mentor/mentee relationships and even friendships.

Here are a few tips I’ve picked up along the way on what to do, and not do, during an informational interview:

1.     Make the First Move

Whether you are looking to make a career change, land a new position, or simply looking to expand your network, be the person that reaches out and makes the coffee date happen. What do you have to lose? The worst thing they will say is either no (rude, but life will go on) or ghost you (no harm, no foul). 

Practice pointers on the initial connection point:

• If you have already met a person in passing, try following up on LinkedIn so they can put a face to your name;
• If it’s a cold call email, make sure to state your purpose for the potential meeting (“I am interested in applying for your a role at your current company, and would love to learn more about your experience.”); 
• Bonus points if you can make a point of connection (ie. we went to the same college!).

2.     Plan the Deets

Whomever you are meeting is taking time out of their busy day to help you. The best thing you can do for them is to make the logistics easy for them. For example, propose a few options for a day and time to meet within the next few weeks. Do your research, consider where they work, and offer a location in their neighborhood, or offer your ability to travel to them when you’re figuring out where to meet. If your contact is struggling to make a time work, suggesting Zoom is a safe bet. While Zoom is a great tool in a pinch, I’ve found in-person meetings to be invaluable. But virtual face time is still better than no face time at all! 

3.     Do your Research

Don’t show up without doing your due diligence on your new contact. A mentor once told me to write out up to 10 questions or topics for the conversation beforehand, some of which should be personalized to that person’s career or accomplishments. While you shouldn’t feel stuck to a rigid question list to just check off the boxes, you want to show up prepared and not waste their time. Here are some of my go-to’s:

• What gets you excited to wake up each day?
• What skills should I be working on to get to your position?
• Tell me about a problem in your career or industry that keeps you up at night.
• Who do you look up to?
• What is one piece of advice that you would give to someone in my shoes?

4.     During the Date Etiquette

Make sure you plan time in your schedule for travel, parking, and still arriving with plenty of time before your contact is set to arrive. While you don’t want to be late, this also gives you the opportunity to buy your own coffee and take away the pressure of who’s picking up the tab while at the cashier. I think its considerate to buy your date’s coffee, however, I don’t think its expected.

Practice active listening; ask follow-up questions on their answers, and don’t be afraid to ask them to explain a concept or something you don’t understand. You’re there to learn. Also, shouldn’t have to be said, but keep your phone out of sight. Keep your full attention on your date.

Regarding timing, try to keep the date under an hour. My favorite line to transition the conversation to a close: “I don’t want to take up too much more of your time, [so I have just one last question] or [but this has been so helpful, do you have any other connections who you would recommend that I meet with?].

5.     The Follow-up

“Thank-yous” aren’t outdated. Whether it’s a quick, immediate email note, or a more personal written card, just do it. 

6.     Mentor Material?

Not every informational interview will lead to a perfect mentor-mentee match, and neither should you expect it to. Also, not every informational interviewee will provide great advice. If you walk away from your chat not feeling “filled-up,” don’t fret it and take what they said with a grain of salt. On the other hand, if you left the conversation inspired, maybe it’s worth checking in with your new contact again down the road. 

My best advice for a successful informational interview is to avoid entering the conversation with an expectation of what your new contact can give you, other than their time. Enter the conversation with an open and grateful mind, practice active listening, and intentionally engage with their interests. Of course, you want to share your experiences, but you are here to learn more about them. Maybe you have started a professional relationship that will blossom into something more fruitful, maybe you just left with some info and a good coffee. Regardless, you never know what will come of the connection until you put yourself out there.